jen has a blog..?

So I live in Fort Worth! It seemed like it all happened so fast, but looking back I can see the Lord’s fingerprints all over it, and this is exactly what my prayer has been for the last 4 months. The Lord is faithful…here we go!

At the moment, I’m sitting on the floor of my living room in my new apartment that is completely empty. I have with me a suitcase full of clothes, bathroom stuff, and my coffee maker (very important) :). I get to camp out on the floor for the next few days. 

I’ve had a very interesting day today. Well, more like my soul has had an interesting day today…my day was pretty ordinary. Today was the first day that reality hit me that I am in a completely new place and I don’t know anyone. Earlier this week I had my mom here helping me find a place to live, and for the last 2 days I have slept on Jenna’s couch (who by the way is incredible for taking in a stranger that she knows very little about and just handing over a key to her house and saying ‘make yourself at home!’…to me that is amazing and I’m very thankful for her). Basically, this was the first day that I have been alone in Fort Worth. As I drove around running errands and getting things for my place, I had two very different emotions. For one, I was so excited to live in a new city and be on my own again, there is something very invigorating about that for me. But the other feeling was..I am completely alone in a brand new city. And that is not so invigorating. So, I have been battling today. Fighting not to dwell on loneliness and fighting to resist the temptation to believe that it was a mistake to come here. This is exactly what I have prayed for - that God would take me to a new place, and in that place that I would seek hard after Him and watch Him provide for me. Here I am, He gave me a new place! Funny how it’s so easy to find other things to distract me from going to the Lord. I’ve done a great job of avoiding it all week! What a reminder of how in need of grace I still am…

So I’m not surprised that I am sitting in an empty apartment with no tv, no roommates, no distractions. 

As I sit here and think about what to write next, I’m beginning to think I’m using this very thing as a distraction too. Why is it so hard for us to get on our knees and go to the Lord?!  Our mind wars against us. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

Last time I went to The Village Church Matt talked about this exact thing. That we have to fight to renew our minds. 

More updates to come. Since I don’t have tv or anything really, I’m hoping to keep a good record here my first summer as an intern.

But for now, I’m gonna go fight.